Hello.

My name is Sarah and I grew up in rural Pennsylvania. I left for a brief stint in the city, bagged me a boy toy, and now I’m an adult in rural Pennsylvania. I basically kidnapped this guy. (Just kidding. He wants to be here, I think. Also I kind of lied about the boy toy thing. He’s actually my long-term domestic partner, but boy toy just sounds so much more exciting!) We live in a small town in a small house with a cat named Nugget. Some days I like my cat more than I like myself, but I’m working on it.

I write about things I observe and things that happen to me. These things are factual and may or may not be exaggerated. (I have a flair for the dramatic.) At this point you might be thinking, “Woah this girl really likes her parentheses.” You’re not wrong. If you’re against parentheses that don’t necessarily follow the rules (you know, those bad-ass rebel parentheses that just don’t give a fuuuuck), you might not like it here. Same goes for gratuitous commas and nonsensical hashtags.

But if you do like the blog, you can subscribe and receive an email from me on occasion. Probably once a month, but the jury is still out. I’m constantly changing and evolving, okay? You can also follow me on Twitter, where I currently have two followers. Or you can do none of the above. You can leave, never come back, and pretend like none of this ever happened.

I hope you don’t choose that last one, though. Don’t go for the nuclear option.